Communicating in movie dialogue is a fantastic way to make others feel excluded, especially if a) they’re unable to figure out what the hell is going on or b) they’re able to decipher what you’re doing, but unable to determine what movie you’re referencing and therefore, unable to participate. Bonus points for referencing multiple movies during the conversation in order to really confuse said individuals.
The CEO’s of Mako Services, Inc. are experts at this tactic. In fact, we’re actually the founders of this delicate art. Is it not expected that a rookie practitioner will be able to execute the complicated Multiple Movie Reference Conversation and for that reason we will not spend much time on educating you on the subject. Just be aware that the option does exist for those ready to advance their practice.
- Expand your movie database. Knowing the ins and outs of one movie is merely a party trick and realistically speaking, you’re not the only one who has memorized The Goonies. You do not possess an impressive skill set in the slightest. Having extensive knowledge of a vast array of movies? Now that’s something to be proud of.
- Are you able to identify the source of the following movie dialogue transaction:
“What’s your name?”
“Plenty! Plenty O’Toole!”
“Named for your father perhaps.”
If so, you have a promising future as a Movie Dialogue Communicator. Inserting lines like these into your daily conversation proves that you’re not just some jackwagon spouting popular lines from The Hangover. This proves that you’re a movie connoisseur. You’re not to be trifled with. If you’re utterly clueless as to the origin of this quote, you’ve got a lot to learn before you hang with the big boys.
- Once you’ve familiarized with a good number of movies like a lover familiarizes himself with his partner, it’s time to make a friend who has the same movie referencing talents that you do and shares an intense dislike for the majority of the people you’re forced to spend time with...like your asshole co-workers. It is vital that you’re close enough to this person that when conversing in movie dialogue, you can pick up each other’s cues and move to the next appropriate movie quote easily. Even if you’re speaking in movie dialogue that’s completely unrelated to the actual conversation at hand, your partner should be able to understand the direction of the conversation and roll with the punches (note: it is only recommended that you attempt this maneuver when you and your partner can work together as one unit like Sonny Crockett and Rico Tubbs in Miami Vice).
- Now that you’ve developed your skills and secured a partner in crime, it’s time to utilize your knowledge at the expense of others. The best way to show you how to insert movie dialogue into a normal, everyday (and most like dull) conversation is to demonstrate with a simple example. Say you are milling about the office communal kitchen one Friday, waiting for the coffee pot to finish brewing. You are standing with your partner in crime (PIC) and 2 of your co-workers, both of whom are dull-witted, annoying, and most likely, completely dead space to the human race. Let’s call them John and Doug. Naturally, polite conversation will be struck up in order to prevent an extended awkward silence while the 4 of you impatiently watch the coffee drip slowly, but steadily into the glass coffee pot. It might go a little something like this:
John: It sure is sunny out
Doug: Lovely weather
John: I’m definitely going to try to get outside this weekend.
You: Do or do not. There is no try.
John: Um, yeah, I guess.
PIC: She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts!
Doug: Who?
You: Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her or I’m beginning to like her.
John: What?
You: Into exile, I must go. Failed, I have. *exit kitchen regardless of whether or not you’ve gotten your cup of coffee*
Next, meet your PIC in a pre-determined location to laugh about how perplexed you’ve made your idiot co-workers. Return to the kitchen to retrieve your cup of coffee, if necessary.
As you can see, communicating in movie dialogue isn’t really that hard to do as long as you’ve got the necessary knowledge. Obviously, the better you become at doing this, the more complicated and/or cryptic you can get with your movie dialogue conversations.
