Wanted – Human Resources Specialist

Seeking an individual with minimum 3 years experience working in a corporate Human Resources environment. Responsible for the management of all Mako Services, Inc.’s personnel-related tasks, including benefit packages, payroll, talent acquisition, and employee activities designed to “boost employee morale,” such as the annual Mako Services, Inc. Employee BBQ. Preparation and posting of any open positions, applicant screenings, coordination of candidate interviews, and when necessary, initiation of the Unacceptable Candidate Elimination (UCE) protocol are also important aspects of the Human Resources Specialist role. This position requires the individual to work closely and often collaboratively with the CEO’s and Financial Specialist.

Must be able to work discreetly and quickly in an oftentimes high-stress and chaotic environment. Proficient knowledge of Microsoft Office, especially Excel, and a college degree are required. This is strictly an office job. A US Passport is not required nor are any special self-defense skills. You will be provided with a whistle to utilize to summon assistance from an actual trained employee if you feel that you are threatened at any time during office hours. Excellent baking skills are a plus.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.

How Ready Are You?

You may recall the invaluable education that we recently provided to you regarding surviving a chance encounter with a velociraptor. We hope that you paid close attention. In fact, we hope that you've been practicing your survival techniques because we've discovered a highly intelligent being who created an online quiz that will put your velociraptor survival instincts to the test.

Take the Test

As students and/or potential employees of Mako Services, Inc., it's imperative that you be prepared for any situation that may arise during the course of duty (or your day-to-day life). Therefore, we strongly advise you to take this quiz and send the results of your quiz here so that we may assess your mental, emotional, and physical fitness levels. Do not lie or there will be serious repercussions. Good luck, young padawans.

Wanted – Contract Specialist

Seeking an individual with excellent problem-solving skills and an extensive knowledge of international commerce regulations and capable of handling issues of a sensitive and confidential nature quickly and discreetly. Responsible for negotiating, maintaining, and tracking all contracts generated on behalf of Mako Services, Inc., acting as a liaison between Mako Services, Inc., the consumer, and any necessary outsourcing companies or vendors, and upholding quality business relations with clientele, vendors, and outsourcing companies. Expected to transition focus between Mako Services, Inc.’s client-based cases and the company’s varying entrepreneurial efforts rapidly and seamlessly at a moment’s notice depending on the needs and wants of the CEO’s. This position requires the individual to work closely and often collaboratively with the Financial Specialist.

Must be able to work in an oftentimes high-stress and chaotic environment. Proficient knowledge of Microsoft Office and a college degree are required. Knowledge of basic self-defense tactics and possession of a US passport are a plus.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.

Wanted – Financial Specialist

Seeking an individual with an extensive knowledge of international economic affairs and regulations, as well as money laundering. Responsible for the financial management of Mako Services, Inc., including monitoring and tracking operating and capital expenditures and operating budget preparation. This position requires the individual to work closely and often collaboratively with the Contract Specialist and may require contact with Mako Services, Inc.’s clientele, vendors, and outsourcing companies.

Must be able to work discreetly and quickly in an oftentimes high-stress and chaotic environment. Proficient knowledge of Microsoft Office, especially Excel, and a college degree are required. Knowledge of basic self-defense tactics and possession of a US passport are a plus.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.

CLOSED – Independent Consultant for Foreign Affairs

*THIS POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED*

Seeking an intelligent, articulated, and professional individual that is well-versed in international affairs and gathering intel. Must be able to perform the duties prescribed efficiently while operating unsupervised from any location deemed necessary. Must be able to travel to the Corporate Office located in New York when necessary. This position expects the individual to work closely and often collaboratively with its Domestic Affairs counterpart. Excellent computer skills and a college degree are required. Must be willing to travel frequently at a moment’s notice, be in possession of a US Passport, and able to speak multiple languages.

Knowledge of hand-to-hand combat and Microsoft Office, capable of handling state-of-the-art technology, firearms, and explosives firearms are preferred. Speaking in a Russian and/or Indian accent is a plus.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.

CLOSED – Independent Consultant for Domestic Affairs

*THIS POSITION HAS BEEN FILLED*

Seeking an intelligent, articulated, and professional individual that is well-versed in domestic affairs and gathering intel. Must be able to perform the duties prescribed efficiently while operating unsupervised from our Northwest office. Must be able to travel to the Corporate Office located in New York when necessary. This position expects the individual to work closely and often collaboratively with its Foreign Affairs counterpart. Excellent computer skills and a college degree are required.

Knowledge of hand-to-hand combat, Microsoft Office, and firearms preferred.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.

Wanted – Elimination Consultant

Seeking a highly independent and adaptable individual with excellent problem-solving skills and an extensive knowledge of foreign languages and politics to eliminate any external conflicts or issues that may affect Mako Services, Inc.’s operations and clientele. Must be willing to travel frequently at a moment’s notice, be in possession of a US Passport, capable of handling state-of-the-art technology and explosives, and able to work quickly and efficiently in an oftentimes high-stress and chaotic environment. A college degree is required.

Expertise in short-range and long distance elimination tactics is preferred.

A physical assessment will be conducted prior to the interviewing process.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information, your mothers maiden name, copy of a valid picture ID and Social Security card and one will be sent promptly.

Wanted - Special Ops Assistant

Seeking an adaptable individual, capable of handling confidential matters discreetly and with poise, to support the Chief Executive Officers of Mako Services, Inc. Must be able to multi-task, willing to travel frequently and at a moment's notice, be in possession of a US Passort, and work productively in a high-stress environment. Minimum K-9 education required. Higher education recommended and a bonus!

Experience in demolitions and atomic and viral warfare, training in hand-to-hand combat, firearms, knife fighting, and knowledge of the dark arts, dinosaurs, sharks, zombies, vampires and foreign languages are all a plus.

To request application, please send an email containing your contact information and one will be sent promptly.